Of course, I wouldn’t know how he was when he was around other people and I wasn’t around to see him interact with them. But all the signs were positive so far.
Besides, relationship is all about risks and hopes, right, and getting to know the other person first, or so I thought.
I guessed I wasn’t too naive after all.
Anyway, time enough to make a concrete decision after all the pertinent information had been gathered.
That sounded so detached, and rather mature, I demurred. And it goes both ways; he could be looking to get to know me first, too. I mean, just because you like a girl or a boy doesn’t mean it’s a done deal. Also let’s not forget, I am all of thirteen! It’s not like I’m looking at a potential suitor for marriage!
My sister was starting to groan in boredom. I didn’t know it had been that long since she asked the question.
Really, Maya, this is serious stuff. It is practically my life! This boy could be my first boyfriend, of course I had to think long and hard about it!
I poked her, and she swatted back at me, before groaning louder.
I rolled my eyes, and left her to it.
Did I like Dominic? I thought that it would be nice to have a boy who liked me. Maybe I’d have a boyfriend who would hold my hand and carry my books for me, and sit with me at the lunch table during break. He could come study at my house, and vice versa. We could go watch movies together! I would have someone to talk to about things! Yes, that would be nice.
So, I nodded my head. Yes, I liked Dominic, and “Yes, Maya, I would not mind having him as a boyfriend.”
Maya squealed again in delight (that girl was such a squealer!) and threw her arms around me, and started making plans about how I could respond appropriately the next time I saw that boy so he would know that I liked him too.
I had never blushed so much in my entire life since that day, and it wasn’t just because of my lack of knowledge and experience in such things, but I swear my sister could make even the most cynical experienced person fluster just from the sheer force of her enthusiasm in such a matter alone!
Teenage girls could be so focused when it came to boys and love! Who knew they could know so much in such a few short years after being ‘exposed’ to them?!
That ‘exposed’ part was just a way of speech, by the way. Even Maya had her self-respect when it concerned the opposite sex.
That was the first thing she taught me actually. To have self-respect, and to make sure the boy respected me as well.
“If he didn’t respect you, then he is not for you. There are other boys out there, and you’ll find one who will treat you right.” She said.
Indeed, big sister could be wise; she had her moments.
We talked about other things too, enough that I wanted to crawled under the pillow and hide and never see another boy again.
But life is what it is, and there is no hiding from it. I duly thanked her, and promised to be careful.
I also promised to update her on how things went with Dominic.
The next day, I went to school nervous and strangely excited.
What do I do, what do I say? How do I act? Is my dress nice? Do I look nice? Would he still like me today? What if he already found someone else to like? Does my hair look okay?
That is what happened when you finally decided to do something positive about that pesky crush. You started to doubt yourself.
To make matters worse, I didn’t see that particular boy all morning during classes – although he was seated at the very back and I maybe was simply shy about sneaking looks at him – and the suspense reached its highest by the time we had our break.
What if he is suddenly not interested in me anymore? What if he likes another girl who smiles at him or gives him gifts too? What if he thinks I’m too shy and he wants someone more outgoing and popular?
…to be continued…