Simple Simon’s Adventures (Part 2)

Simple Simon Met Sarcastic Sally

One day, Simple Simon was on his way to the market when he literally ran into Sarcastic Sally.

“OOOOF! Oy, watch it you simpleton!” Sarcastic Sally yelled from the ground where she lay sprawled on her stomach after being knocked down.

“Yes, indeed my dear Sally. That’s me!” Replied Simple Simon happily from the ground also where he flopped around trying to get up. Sarcastic Sally was a big girl. She could knock anyone down!

“What? No apologies? You ran me down!” Sarcastic Sally accused.

“Well, in truth, my dear Sally, I did indeed but only because you were not watching where you were going.” Simple Simon said.

“How would you know I wasn’t watching where I was going, you simple-minded nit?” Sarcastic Sally snarked.

“Because my dear Sally, you were looking behind you while walking quickly towards me.” Simple Simon answered easily. He had finally stopped flopping around on the ground and managed to find his feet. He was looking confusedly at his feet and wondering how to get up on them. Yea, this is Simple Simon.

“…well….it’s still your fault, you fool! You should apologize to me. I am very angry and offended.” Sarcastic Sally demanded. She laboriously got to her feet and dusted herself off.

“But why?” Simple Simon was confused. He scratched his head and then slowly stood up.

Sarcastic Sally put her hands on her ample hips and replied importantly, “Because you’re the simpleton and I’m the lady. I’m always right. I deserve apologies. You should be my servant and grovel for my forgiveness!”

Simple Simon simply said, “Oh. If you say so.”

“I do indeed.”

“Well,” Simple Simon said humbly, “then I sincerely am sorry, my dear Sally because I ran into you while you were not watching where you were going and that we both got knocked down because you are a tremendous lady who took me off my feet.”

“….are you calling me fat?”

“I don’t understand.”

“You said that I am tremendous!”

“Ah. Well yes, I said you are a tremendous lady.”

“….YOU CALLED ME FAT!!”

Sarcastic Sally then ran off while crying loudly because Simple Simon unknowingly and quite innocently called her fat.

Simple Simon blinked in astonishment after her quickly disappearing tremendous figure.

Scratching his head while turning and continuing his walk to the market, he murmured, “Not so fat if she could run like that.”

Now that’s sarcasm. Not so simple after all.

 

Read the beginning of Simple Simon’s Adventures here https://myreadingpoet.com/2018/11/04/short-story-simple-simons-adventure-begins/

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